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How to Get Unstuck

Many of us find ourselves getting stuck sometimes. It's a normal part of life.


We could be feeling stuck in a financial situation, stuck in what to do when disagreeing with a loved one, stuck in how to make a decision to move forward.


But how do you get unstuck when you're feeling stalled and uncomfortable and you just want to move on already??


I've been there, too. Trust me.


At times, I can feel like picking the next topic to write about, the next project to talk about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs like you and me), or even what to eat for dinner can feel tiresome or overwhelming.


And I've gotten through those bouts of indecision and stuck-ness with this simple 4-step process:

  1. Awareness and Acknowledgement

  2. Accept the Resistance

  3. Decide on a single step to move forward

  4. Take that (small) step in the right direction

I can already hear you saying, "But HOW, Steph?! That sounds so easy, but I don't know HOW!"


I gotchu, fren!


Here's how to do this in action:


Let's say you're feeling an overall sense of stability in your life and you want to figure out a new hobby to pick up.


You're generally happy reading the newest Sarah J Maas book, going out for a walk in the trees, and binging a new season of the Witcher.


But you'd really like to do something more active, possibly with people, in a low-stress environment.


Something like try a dance class, join a writer's group, post a short, funny video on TikTok, that kind of thing.


Here's how to use the 4-step process to go from stuck to unstuck:


Step 1: Awareness and Acknowledgement


We know what the "problem" is: You...

  • Want to try something new and you don't yet know how

  • Are contemplating spending your precious energy on the unknown

  • Feel daunted by the idea of people-ing with new people

  • Have to step outside your comfort zone

  • Might not do it "right" the first time, which means you might "waste" your time

I could go on, but you get the gist. It's your mind after all.


Pretty convincing arguments not to continue right?


Wrong!


And here's why...


Step 2: Accept the Resistance


What we resist persists - ever heard that one?


It's the idea that the longer we push away, run away, complain about, avoid, procrastinate, or otherwise continue to stall around dealing with something, the longer the pain lasts and the bigger it grows.


No bueno, dude. Most of us don't want to prolong and increase our suffering.


So? We make friends with the resistance and fear and anxiety and discomfort... so that we can do the thing anyway.


Reasons not to do something you actually - in your heart and soul - want to do are just natural defenses a part of your mind is putting up to be efficient and keep you safe and comfy.


This Protector part of you is just doing it's job. Doesn't mean it's "right" or that you have to do what it says, it just means there's a part of you trying to keep you safe.


How kind of ourselves to do that for us.


There's nothing wrong with you for having natural resistance, and it doesn't mean that conditions must be perfect to do what you want and try something new.


It's perfectly okay for you to do things while feeling a bit uncomfortable.


Am I blowing your mind right now?


Then it's time for


Step 3: Decide on a single step to move forward


Now I know you love to be thorough, check every box, get the A+ on your homework. Me too.


However, you can either:


A. Break the A+ down into smaller steps to make it easier to accomplish - yeah, I see you procrasti-prepper!


OR


B. Redefine your definition of A+


Option A might look like this:

  • Make a list of every option you can think of You will probably run out of ideas after 15 minutes or less

  • Pick your top 1-2 things to try

  • Start with the first one (if you picked 2) and visualize what that looks like - Is it going to a class? Setting a timer and doing the thing in the comfort and privacy of your own home? Watching a quick video?

  • Break that vision down into smaller steps In the example of learning to dance: 1. Find a local class 2. Buy the ticket or register 3. Add it to your G-Cal or perfectly selected paper planner 4. Check the dress code and expectations 5. Choose a friend to go with you 6. Text them incessantly until they agree to join you 7. Go to class 8. Bask in pride and satisfaction that you did it

Break the process of the decision down into tiny steps, and each step will feel more real and tangible as you get closer to your goal.


Option B requires a bit more finesse - one of your top skills as a Highly Sensitive Person.


If you define Success in this instance as "Making a decision and doing it," you might have a hard time completing it.


Here's why - that's a big, broad, vague statement that doesn't look like anything in particular.


You're getting caught on the idea of making a decision, rather than making the decision itself.


You picking up what I'm putting down?


Here are some alternative ways to consider "success" in this instance.


Success means:

  • trying something, anything, whether it goes "perfectly" or not

  • taking a single step forward

  • learning something from the experience

  • challenging yourself

  • making the decision in the first place

  • getting help to do it faster, better, or at all

See what I mean?


Use your intuition to think of ways Success is actually you being slightly closer to the person you want to be.


Which brings us to...


Step 4: Take that (small) step in towards progress


Yes, you can.


There are no "wrong" steps.


Operate at though anything you pick will be "right" - because it will.


Here are some simple suggestions:

  • Make a list of all of your options and then narrow it down to top 2-3 picks

  • Spend 10 minutes finding a (local or virtual) class, MeetUp, or event

  • Join an online group that matches your interests

  • Call a friend and use your friend-cred to get them to go with you to something new

  • Book the session / class / ticket

  • Buy or borrow an (audio)book to start learning

  • Find a podcast to listen to

  • Watch a YouTube tutorial

  • Join a group

  • Hire a coach, instructor, or expert

And those are just a few ideas.


The unofficial step 5 is - Celebrate! You are now unstuck.


You're welcome.


Big, warm vibes -

Steph


P.S. Did you like this article? Comment below to let me know what your biggest takeaway was. I'd love to know so I can share more info to help you get unstuck.


P.P.S. Still don't know how to make this process work in your particular situation? I can help! Book a complimentary, 1-hour consultation call with me to get started.

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