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How to Stop People Pleasing

Hi there, Highly Sensitive Person!

I recently taught a class on Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), and the number one thing my class participants wrote down was information about boundaries and how to say, "no" without feeling guilty.

That was a big one, saying "no" without the obligation and resentments and worry about what the other person thinks of you.

What this really comes down to is an issue with people-pleasing.

People-pleasing is saying or acting in a way we don't really want to in order (to try) to make others feel a certain way.

"Try" is the operative word here because we have ZERO control over how others think and feel, so trying to anticipate someone else's brain and changing your behavior to fit it is, well, wishful thinking at best.

And it's wishful thinking that turns out to be really damaging to your mental health, your relationships, and to your sense of self.

Yeah, people-pleasing actually sucks way more than just making us feel guilty and spiteful and miserable.

It triggers perfectionism, imposter syndrome, procrastination, and believing that we need to be someone we're not in order to be loved, respected, and accepted.

You deserve better than that.

You are lovable and worthy exactly as you are, my friend.

Which is why in this week's episode of The Highly Sensitive Club you'll learn:

  • 3 ways people-pleasing looks innocent on the outside but causes a lot of damage to your mental health and relationships.

  • 4 simple ways to stop people-pleasing - while maintaining your relationships and still feeling completely authentic and in integrity.

  • Actual scripts and phrases to use in conversation, whether that's a "yes," a "no," or "let's discuss."

This is a longer episode because it's one I have a lot of personal experience with and have gotten so much better at overcoming over the last 10 years.

I was a chronic people-pleaser and had every single one of the problems I talk about in the episode.

Now, I can pretty easily say, "No, thanks!" to most things without it disrupting my day at all.

Just yesterday, I got an invitation from a loved one to spend time together, and I wanted to say yes, but I knew it would mean stressing myself out, trying to squeeze in extra work to make the time, and feeling generally overwhelmed when I really wanted to connect.

So I offered a couple alternative times and activities.

And you know what they said?

"Sounds good!"

Yeah, it really can be that easy to be honest and still have great relationships with others.

The urge to people-please still comes up for me every single day, and it's something I've learned to deal with faster and more easily every time.

I can teach you to do that too.

Check out this week's episode, and I'll invite you again to open up a conversation about something that you really want to change or adjust - or simply stop doing altogether.

Don't worry. I tell you exactly what to say to start the conversation in the episode.

Big, warm vibes your way -


P.S. Picking up what I'm putting down but still not sure how to stop people-pleasing all the time?

Book a free call to figure out what your biggest block with people-pleasing is and your personal roadmap to let that habit go for good.

I have 1:1 coaching spots available if you're ready to dive in and uplevel your life, love, and business as an HSP!

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